Contagious Composition & a Bag of M&M's

February 25, 2010

People Get Offended by the Silliest Things….

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassyprincess30something @ 11:27 pm

Parents are interesting creatures.  I know because I am one.  However, I am bound and determined not to look in the mirror one day and discover that I have turned into my mother…both physically and behaviorally.

As my kids start tromping through their teenage years with reckless abandon, I am determined not to slip on my crazy panties and start screaming at the top of my lungs at them for being 15 minutes late even though I know they were right next door at the neighbors (personal story from when I was 18).  Yes, I am going to be a rational parent.  Or at least that is my intent.  I never had a rational parent, so I don’t know what it feels like.  Maybe when it’s all said and done, having a rational parent won’t be all it’s cracked up to be.  I mean, at least my parents’ nuttiness makes for good story telling.  Maybe my children will find my rational, mature behavior boring.  Maybe they will resent me for being normal because they won’t be able to bond with their friends who might have crazy parents.  It’s definitely an experiment that has the potential to go horribly wrong.  However, I’m willing to gamble a bit.

In a nutshell, my parents are great people…in small doses.  They have big hearts and even bigger mouths.  They are idiosyncratic creatures of habit who display tendencies towards hoarding.  However, they view themselves as non-offensive clutterbugs.  Today is the one month anniversary of my estrangement from my parents.  Most of you will think that’s no big deal, however, you would be wrong.  My parents are old, so it is not unusual for my parents and I to chat, even briefly, every other day.

Their silence is my punishment.  My crime?  Asking them to move their car.  Pretty heinous, huh?  Four years ago, when my ex-husband and I got divorced, my parents moved one of their 4 cars over to my house.  Please don’t ask why they have 4 cars when my dad is the only one who drives.  There’s no explaining that except for the fact that it falls under the hoarder/clutterbug category.  At any rate, their motive was good.  They wanted to make it seem like there was more than just a single mom and her kids living there.  I totally appreciated it at the time, and it was a good idea…in theory.  They would come over and move the car around pretty consistently for about 5 months.  Unfortunately, as time went on, the car sat in one place until the tires got flat.  It must have sat in the same place for at least 3 years.  So much for the illusion.

Well, my boyfriend was never too jazzed about a non-functioning car residing in the driveway, so needless to say he was like a dog nipping at my heels to get it moved.  To be fair, I wasn’t thrilled with car establishing permanent residence at my house either.  But it was easier just to let sleeping dogs lie.  Finally last summer, I talked to my parents about moving it.  They gave me permission to move it to a certain location in their driveway.  Well, I didn’t have the $100 to move it at that time, so I let it sit some more.  We won’t even go into why I had to pay for it.  Suffice it to say that it was easier than the alternative.  Well, a month ago, my boyfriend and his friend were able to move it.  So, I called my parents to get the keys and here’s how the conversation went.

Me:  Hi dad, how’s it going?

Dad:  Good.  What’s going on?

Me:  Nothing too much.  Hey, do I have the keys to your blue car or do you?

Dad:  I do.  Why?

Me:  Well, I can move it now and it’ll be easier if I have the keys.

Dad:  Why do you want to move it?  It’s not hurting anyone.

Me:  Yeah, I know dad, but we talked about this already.

Dad:  Where are you going to move it to?

Me:  Where you guys said to.  Off to the side of the driveway.

Dad:  Well, you can’t move it there.

Me:  Why not?

Dad:  Because we changed our minds.

Me:  Um, well, when were you going to let me know?

Dad:  I don’t see why it has to be moved.

Me:  Where do you want it moved to now, dad?

Dad:  Alongside the driveway.  In the cutout section.  But it’s filled with snow now.

Me:  Well, dad, that’s going to be a problem because I’ve arranged to have it moved tomorrow.

Dad:  TOMORROW?  TOMORROW?  DON’T YOU TOUCH THAT CAR!  IF YOU TOUCH THAT CAR I’LL HAVE YOU CHARGED FOR TRESPASSING.  YOU HEAR ME?  I’LL CALL THE COPS.

I then basically told him that this conversation wasn’t accomplishing anything, to which he promptly hung up the phone.  It wasn’t pretty.  I still can’t get over how he thought that he could charge me with trespassing on my own property, but it does make for a good story.  Well, not to be outdone, my mom gets in on the action by leaving an excruciatingly long voicemail on my work phone telling me that I am being manipulated, that I’m weak, that I’m alienating everyone that I care about, etc, etc, etc, etc.  Oh joy.  I returned their phone call addressed their concerns in a voicemail.  As of today, my dad is starting to warm back up to me, but I still haven’t spoken to my mom.  However, tomorrow is another day…which means another chance to reconnect or another chance to do something else incredibly offensive.  I’m not even going to talk to them about their sewing machine in my basement.  I’m saving that for the summer.

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1 Comment »

  1. What’s up, after reading this amazing post i am as well cheerful to share my experience here with mates.

    Comment by disaster recovery Plan — May 6, 2013 @ 4:05 pm


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